Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
