Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Two words: nipple clamps
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