when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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