Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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