my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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