..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's shark week go big or go home
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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