Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
