This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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