Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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