she was so not down for the gang bang
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
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I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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