Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
