My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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