my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
