Where is the hickey?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
