Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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