it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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