I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Randomize
