I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
