is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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