It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
