Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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