It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
