Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
