Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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