Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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