i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
my liver is dry heaving
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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