Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
