dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
