is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
smell my finger.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
