it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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