I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
