was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize