bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
handjob tips. give me some.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
