I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
