Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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