her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He? As in you personified your dick?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
