your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
