make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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