I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
