I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
