Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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