Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
