i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
