bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
