i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
