My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sext me about skeletons
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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