New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
