capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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