Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
