Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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