How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
