I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
