I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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