She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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