Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!