new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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