Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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