THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
