I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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