he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
