he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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