It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
