I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
